Memorialized

When I was a senior in high school band, we lost one of our flute players in a tragic car accident. Our director came out of his office, pale as snow, to tell us the news. He broke down in a way I'd never seen from a grown person. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground, sobbing. My heart went out to the girl's family and to him, this troubled man with whom I'd recently had some disagreements. An hour or so later, though I'm not sure what was motivating my steps, I walked up to him and put my hand firmly on his shoulder. I'd lost my dad to cancer not long before. I looked this man in the eyes and said nothing. He knew I understood how he was feeling.

We suited up in our band uniforms and filed into an annexed room of the funeral home. We listened to the service over the p.a., sniffs and sobs to punctuate the solemn event. When the service concluded, we headed outside and lined either side of the drive. We were called to attention and we stood there, winter wind chilling our cheeks, as the family drove through followed by the hearse. I was the leader of the low brass section, a girl to corral the rough and rude boys. I was never more proud of their composure as I was that day.

When I look back on it now, I can't imagine a more fitting tribute. This girl was one of us and no one at that service was there for any other reason than to remember her. The stark black pavement flanked by regal band members in white-legged uniforms must have been almost military, giving her the sendoff she deserved.

The 'memorial' service that occurred last night in Tucson, Arizona was nothing like this. The crowd was unruly and loud, the roster of speakers a bit confounding, and they even passed out t-shirts for the event. Though President Obama's speech was something that pleased a number of people, it was nothing more than a seasoned speaker doing what he does best: reading. I felt no emotion from him, no connection whatsoever to what had happened. And why was that? Well, because he wasn't connected.

A memorial is just that, an event to remember something or someone who was dear to you. Though a great number of people didn't know the six victims personally, they could find ways to identify with them enough to properly memorialize them. A parent could immediately understand the grief of losing a young child. A grandchild could understand how painful it must be to say goodbye to a grandparent. A person with a close friend would know the separation of never seeing their friend again. But politics, there is no place for politics in this situation. I'm sure Obama has friends and I know he's a grandchild and parent, but he has an unnatural aura of politics that never leaves him. Politics knows no emotion save the use of it for manipulation.

Presidents have always made speeches in times of triumph and tragedy; that's nothing new. But in both triumph and tragedy, the attitude must not be one of personal gain or desire for the spotlight. In this case, I must say it was both of those things. This was no memorial, it was a political rally on the backs of the grieving. It was a show of support not for the families who had lost loved ones, but for a stumbling president. It was an excuse for a hollow orator to flex his speaking muscles; a trial-run for 2012.

In the aftermath of the Arizona shootings, one thing was clear: the left will stop at nothing, hold nothing sacred except the profane, to take down their enemies. In an ironic twist, Sarah Palin has seen an uptick in the death threats she receives. What better time to call for the murder of a political figure than immediately after the attempted murder of another. Strangely, the White House has been silent on these matters of accusation and 'blood libel'. Last night's shill held no relief.

After the burial of my bandmate, I visited the girl's home with my director. I had drawn a portrait of the girl, smiling and hopeful in her colorguard uniform. A local frame shop had mounted it in a stunning frame for free. I wasn't present when it was given to the family, but at the home, the girl's step-father (whom I had never met) walked up to me and hugged me tight. He thanked me through tears and I nodded with a comforting smile, happy to have brought a tiny bit of solace. I may not have known this girl as a close friend, but I knew the events of her memorial were about her, not me. I did what I could to comfort the family, to keep the focus on them as they grieved and attempted to heal. Had I not been able to do that, I would have removed myself from the situation. I feel this would have been the best route for Obama. He should have visited the grieving alone, said his peace, and left the circus for a more appropriate time and place.

My heart goes out to the victims and I hope they will heal from the pain. I hope they can eventually drown the echoes of whoops and yells from the rally last night with the memory of their loved ones laughter. God bless you Tucson, and God bless America.

You Don't Scare Me, Bully

Bullies are nasty things. Insecure individuals releasing their frustrations on the innocent has no basis in logic. When a child is bullied, our hearts go out to them. We see our own experiences reflected in their tear-filled eyes. But bullying is not quarantined to only the young. One has to ask oneself, what happens to child bullies when they grow up? For that answer, we don't have to look too far, especially right now.

The mainstream media, most liberals, and many other politicians exhibit the classic signs of being bullies in big-people clothes. Jack Conway, the Democratic candidate for Senate in Kentucky, is someone you might expect to find holding another person's head in a toilet. That swirly victim at present is Rand Paul. Being the son of someone so polarizing like Ron Paul can't be easy, small physical stature aside. Rand isn't a stranger to bullying. He seems to be a seasoned pro when dealing with senseless slander, but why should we sit back and let this kind of thing continue? We profess to be a society that's sickened by undeserved violence. We condemn the actions of child bullies, yet when that undeserved violence is wielded by a liberal or a liberal-sympathizing member of the media, we accept it. We shake our heads, say 'tisk tisk' and let it remain. The memory of the event is quickly buried under memories of countless events like it every day.

The 2010 mid-term elections have seen some really sad bullying tactics. An angry male Democrat calls his female Republican opponent a 'whore'. The liberal machine, media in tow, exploits the distant and irrelevant history of an otherwise normal woman, Christine O'Donnell, in order to make sure her liberal opponent is sent to Washington. An angry elitist Democrat resorts to physical contact with his Republican opponent during a debate. Congressional fat cats send their significant others on heckling missions to rattle their opponents. If Washington and the road to Washington were the halls of an elementary school, these politicians would be spending a lot of time in the Principal's office. But if Barack Obama is considered the Principal, I guess that disciplinary trip won't do much good.

And so, it is up to us, the 'parents' of this nation. Our priorities need to be set right. After Rand Paul's first-and potentially only-debate with Jack Conway, he refused to shake Conway's hand. Conway's attack ad was just too grotesque, his methods far too mad. Though some may view this action as rude on Paul's part, I say it's about time. The reason bullies continue to wreak havoc is because the victims don't stand up for themselves. This isn't a case for marshal law, no. Rather, this is a case for common human decency. We're told we have to lead by example, but when the bully is blind, they can't see that example. The media, liberals, and many in the government are blind. They have lost any sense of right and wrong. It's time those of us who are willing to fight to suck it up and do so. The next time someone attacks your faith, your patriotism, your intelligence, or your freedom, give them a lesson in the truth. Bullies are bad, no matter their age, and we can't let their behavior continue.

9/11: What I Learned

I read a Care Bears storybook from my childhood the other day. This story was about a boy who was being bullied at school. Of course, the Care Bears encouraged the child to befriend the bully because the poor bully was just misunderstood. The two became friends and everything was great in the end. Unfortunately, that's not always how it works.

On September 11th, 2001, I was in college. I was walking across the courtyard and caught sight of one of the school maintenance men. He was muttering and cursing to himself. We asked him what was wrong and he told us. Everyone crowded around televisions, tears refusing to fall because the shock was so great. I had seen the World Trade Center only a few months earlier on a visit to New York. My heart and my innocence broke that day as I watched the billowing smoke.

You see, Islamic extremists are bullies of the worst kind. They don't bully because they're calling out for help. They don't bully because they secretly want to be friends. These people bully because the fabric of their fiercely held faith tells them to. They are instructed in no uncertain terms to wage war on those who are different from themselves. That morning, they waged war on people just like you and me. It could have been us choosing a death by falling dozens of stories as opposed to burning alive. It could have been us, killed by debris while trying to search for survivors. It could have been us on those airplanes, hijacked by suicide Jihadists.

When we were children, we were taught that bullies aren't anything to be afraid of. If we 'killed them with kindness,' they would leave us alone, maybe even be our new friends. Perhaps we learned that by reading books like the one I mentioned. But these bullies, we must fear them. We must fear them enough to have no misunderstanding of their motives. In our hearts, we need to have that terrible morning run a loop to remind us of our fleeting freedom and our fleeting lives. Our children and our children's children count on us to be discerning about lessons like these. A school bully? Sure, being friendly and non-confrontational may work. But these people were never interested in being our friends.

If we value our lives as free-living and free-worshiping Americans, we will educate ourselves about these people. We will read the Qur'an instead of burning it. We will set aside our 'live and let live' dreams and wake up to a 'they live and we die' reality. Humans are animals first and animals who have never been taught mercy cannot show it. The more rope we give them, the more rope they have to hang us with. Do not forget that morning, that bright September morning. Do not forget that someone just like you and me took their last breath because of intolerance and hatred at the hands of one of the biggest bullies the earth has ever known.

Do Unto Others

Common decency isn't so common. Manners and kindness seem to have become things of the past. But why? Why don't people think of others anymore? With the rampant trend of 'touchy-feely' liberalism in this country, people should be more considerate; but in truth, it depends on what 'group' in which you belong. If you're in the right group, you get plenty of consideration. But that's not what the Golden Rule is about, now is it?

From simple, everyday things like not saying 'please' and 'thank you', to things like blatant discrimination, we've become heathens. We're all out for ourselves. Even when people show 'consideration' for others, it seems that consideration is out of fear or some kind of personal gain. There's nothing done simply out of kindness anymore. An example of where common decency has lapsed is the Ground Zero mosque.

This country boasts freedom of religion and as one of our founding freedoms, that religious openness is just fine by me. But what about equal respect for everyone and all religions? Favoritism to Muslims out of fear or anything else shouldn't take top-billing over the memory of the people killed on 9/11. This isn't simply a case of free worship, this is a case of Muslims wishing to build in a place they know for a fact will cause irritation and not caring at all about said irritation. And where is the outrage about the Muslim's disrespect? Of course, there's plenty of outrage by the 'public', but not enough where it counts.

We have laws that keep sex offenders away from schools. We have laws that take drivers licenses away from people who have caused deaths by drunk driving. But when it comes to the touchy subject of religion, unless you're Christian, you are allowed to have anything you wish. I say let them build elsewhere, as is their right, but please, if you want us to respect you, respect us as well. That is, after all, how the Golden Rule works. Do unto others...

Sloth, Lust, and Vanity Plates

"Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things." -Russell Baker

When did decency go out of style? What about pride? How did hard work become a dirty concept? These questions are especially apropos today. We live in a society where entitlement is abound. From government subsidies for almost everything to the horrid trend of spoiling children simply for existing, we're a bunch of 'gimmie' junkies. Though the symptoms of this sickness may be invisible to many, there are still some of us who see the signs and are very, very disappointed.

In the last century, we saw a lot of things go the way of the dodo. Ladies stopped wearing gloves and hats. Housework became an offense. Men went from alpha to beta and stopped opening doors for women as not to patronize them. The thought of talking on the phone, much less texting, while at dinner was unheard of. Now, we're lucky if anyone sits down as a family for a meal anymore. With all the advances in technology and general knowledge, we lost more than I fear we can ever regain. The term 'manners' is almost extinct. Who cares if an individual's need to express said individuality offends someone? The person offended is simply a bigot, a rube, or a racist. We've resorted to attacking those who only wish to live in a civil society because we can't stomach the thought of having to be responsible for ourselves or in general, be decent human beings. No one wants to be inconvenienced.

I was raised by an older generation than most of my peers. Some kids my age had grandparents younger than my parents. As I've said in posts previous, both were of the Great Depression/WWII generation. Things were different then. I was taught to have manners, to know my place, to respect elders. Common decency and a strict sense of right and wrong were the lessons of the day for me. We had family meals, we talked about our day, and I wasn't allowed to eat in front of the TV until I was in high school, and then, begrudgingly. I learned to hold my tongue in sensitive matters and certainly mind the feelings of the people around me in conversation. To me, there was nothing wrong with being civil and, God forbid, have normal opinions of things. I suppose, as an artist, this upbringing may have set me up to not circulate well in the art world. You see, I don't think of myself as an art goddess. I wasn't told everything I did was perfect simply because spoiling the child was a trend. I was encouraged to work hard at a goal by myself, and excel the proper way.

One thing that was never appropriate for general public conversation was sexual matters. Sex and things of sexual nature, were private. Don't get me wrong, I don't think moderate sexuality in entertainment is going to send me to hell, but there are some things that just aren't appropriate for the public. Honestly, there are some things that aren't appropriate at all. I don't care how someone may view individuality. I don't care what's deemed okay in other countries. Some behaviors are just inherently wrong. I've learned to ignore some things because the law says I have to. This specific thing of which I will share with you, is not one of those times.

On a trip to the grocery on day last year, I saw something I will never forget. I was walking through the parking lot and spied a vanity plate. Everyone knows, vanity plates can be, well, nasty sometimes, but this one tops the charts. In the world of manga and anime, there are a lot of... odd things. I can understand, to a point, but past that point, I believe the stuff should be sold only in sex shops behind a curtain. There's a kind of manga and anime, a type, if you will, that I discovered unintentionally one day on the fabulous thing called the internet. This type is specifically about children in sexual situations. Art, comics, animated work, and even novel-type fiction, it's all there. You heard me, minors, children, kids, in sexual situations. This is something adults read and pass it off as literature or who knows what. Essentially, the license plate advertised that the owner of the car was into kiddie porn.

Does it make it okay that the kids aren't real? Nope. Fantasy is just one step away from reality. Anyone who's read a crime novel or watched a crime show on TV knows that criminals usually fantasize about committing a crime before they actually commit one. Does it make it okay for them to do this because it's their right to express what they like? Nope. Sorry, but all sorts of rules of the land and rules of decency say no. You wouldn't stand for someone driving around with an 'I like kiddie porn' bumper sticker, would you? I don't care what people in Japan think is okay as entertainment. Here, in this country, child porn is not okay.

Modesty, decorum, manners, human compassion: we're so lacking in these things. We've become obsessed with ourselves and the pleasure we can gain for ourselves that we've turned into slothful, hateful, monsters. We parade our 'individuality' as a banner that says "treat me like royalty because I'm different". But why does different always have to mean super strange and fringe? Why can't different denote a skill, a specialty, or a penchant for perfect manners? In this politically correct world of entitled whiners, some things have been edged out. People must step up and say enough is enough before the damage to our society is irreparable.

Of Rocks and Sand: Words About Faith

"You know, sometimes, when you trade tradition for progress, you wind up with neither." -Rabbi Samuel Garfinkel from USA's In Plain Sight

Faith is one of those things which thrives well on tradition. Along with family and country, faith instills in us the comfort of a higher power, the conviviality of people who believe as we do. Faith gives us reasons for the things that happen and consolation for pain. But just like family and country, when faith is shaken by any force, our lives can be changed forever.

I used to be under the employ of a protestant denomination. I worked in their national headquarters for almost seven years. When I took the job, I wasn't terribly familiar with what made them different than the faiths I knew. I had been raised Baptist and converted to Catholicism in college. This denomination was somewhere in the middle. The longer I worked there, the more understanding I became as to why people referred to them as 'reformed'. Though Baptists and Catholics are far apart on the Christian spectrum, there's one thing that gives them staying power: unyielding tradition.

The area in which I worked wasn't terribly engrossed in the policy-making part of the church. Though I tried to know as little as possible about the political leanings and goings on within this church organization, I couldn't help but know some things. Most of the people were liberal, supporting everything from extreme 'green' legislation to openly condemning Israel for, what it seemed, the simple act of existing. Though some of this liberal bias was merely a preference for the people who worked and worshiped there, some of it had permeated the very structure of the church. Some traditions, carried on for decades, were cast aside like yesterday's biodegradable coffee cup. The next big liberal agenda was the next big church agenda. Doctrine seemed to change like the weather.

As the years went on, I unfortunately learned more and more about this auto-immune illness that had struck the denomination. Their churches were faltering, like many at the time, but when the trend died down in others, this particular sect did not recover. They tried to sugarcoat things, saying there were signs of progress and growth, but like the government's much-hailed 'economic recovery spurred by stimulus,' news of lifting fog could be traced back to a few strategic press releases tinted with rose-colored glasses. Church attendance could be called abysmal at times. Their faith base was aging; the most recent average age of people active within this denomination was listed at 60. The youth were turning away, so were young adults.

Explanations were abound. People in high places struggled to put a name to what was happening, all the while continuing on their progressive path. To a member of the faith, this was a crisis with no clear cause, one that could be allayed by the careful application of new rules or the dismissal of human failure. To me, an outsider looking in, I saw the biggest cause as plain as the sunrise. In their quest to change always with the times, they had abandoned the traditions and beliefs that brought them together as one in the first place. They had changed so often and so drastically in efforts to appease this group or that group, they had begun to appease no one.

In spite of some people's love for spontaneity and ever-changing atmospheres, some things should never change so quickly. Long-standing traditions and beliefs deserve the slow evolution intended by God and nature. Families change, countries change, faith, at it's core, should not change in this way. As Christians, we must take a cue from our grandfather in faith, Judaism. This time-tested, human-tested faith has stood strong for millennia. In the face of evil's attempts to eradicate them, they have remained faithful. To this day, the Jews, specifically of Israel, are the most devout and stalwart people on earth. This strength must come from a strength of tradition in the light of changing times. Small things may have changed, but the important things remain. God's mandates remain.

As membership declined in my employing denomination, the funds to keep the headquarters afloat declined. A massive amount of the blame was shifted to the down economy, which I can see as a partial contributor, but not the main cause. Downsizing had occurred in the years prior to my employ, but in the years since, the downsizing had become almost an annual ritual. I survived three of them before having my position eliminated this year. Some of you may attribute this post to bitterness, but I can promise you, I harbor only a small amount of bitterness. I pity them. I pity them for what they have brought upon themselves. I pity them for the ignorance that will undoubtedly be their downfall. I pity those people whom I grew to love who remain there and what may happen to their livelihood in the months and years to come.

No, this post was in response to something that happened recently with this denomination. I fear one of the cornerstone beliefs of this faith is in real jeopardy, something that if lost, would cause the ultimate loss of membership. Added to the already sparse membership of this church, a hit like this could be fatal. I am a Christian, regardless of my chosen denomination. I believe in God, in Christ, in the church. My faith sustains me and it gives me a sense of oneness with those who share my faith. But I know my faith is built on the rock of Christ, first and foremost. Humans, politics, policy, those things are ever shifting. Christ does not shift. A church bound to stand the test of time, must be careful where they choose to build. This denomination has succumbed to the intoxicating will of weak, attention-seeking human interests and taken their eyes away from the divine. I have heard, a house built on shifting sands cannot stand, something gleaned loosely from Matthew 7:24–27 (see below for complete passage). Divinity and nature dictate this to be true. No house, no family, no country, and certainly no faith can stand if left to ride the shifting sands of human failing.

24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." -Matthew 7:24–27 (New International Version)

Lambs and Lions

Where conscious subjectivity is concerned, there is no distinction between the observation and the thing observed. -John Searle

Almost everything humans do is done with intention. The creative endeavors almost always say something, try to convey something. But there's a variable that all creatives must consider: human subjectivity. If two people see or hear the same thing, I guarantee the will get different things out of the experience. Our observations are tinged with history and feelings that an outside force cannot predict. For instance, if two people see a photo of a dog, the animal lover will feel happiness whereas the person who is afraid of dogs will exhibit fear. It doesn't much matter the intention of the photograph at that point. To one, the dog is not a dog, but rather happiness, to the other the dog is fear.

These days, it seems Hollywood is more in the business of propaganda than pure entertainment. From children's programming to late-night comedy, everything is pushing a message. With the loudest voices in Hollywood being liberal ones, that message is usually pro-liberal/anti-conservative. This may serve to wear down softer minds, but a number of us know it's not necessarily about what is overtly presented. The key to being entertained by entertainment is to be objective whenever possible.

Robin Hood opens soon and it's already creating buzz on both sides of the political spectrum. Conservatives see a character who stands up for the rights of everyone, crusading for the advancement of deserving souls, whereas liberals see someone exacting vengeance on the affluent and redistributing their wealth. When broken down, the story ceases to be cut and dry on any issue and it's certainly not 100% for or against either points of view. The minds behind the film have gotten antsy at the thought of Robin Hood being an encouraging force to 'Tea Partiers.' But in spite of all their efforts, viewers are going to have their own opinions. Once the film is taken in by the individual and processed through their unique filters, the message ceases to be as intended and becomes as interpreted.

Hollywood likes to think they are the sighted leading the blind, but I believe the opposite to be true. As I examine my life and the things by which I've been entertained, I find the intended message is not always how I take it. To me, Star Wars was never a working-man's battle against evil capitalists, Star Wars was about the power of honesty, tenacity, and forgiveness. X-Files wasn't a few stalwart liberals facing a corrupt conservative government, it was a pained search for truth against the forces of people who valued only self-preservation. Though I'm disheartened by the talk of what Robin Hood is intended to be, I know only what I feel when I hear things like "It is time for lambs to become lions." For too long, the taxpayer, the Christian, and the middle class worker have been trampled on. For too long, the Constitution has been ignored. If there are any lambs in this country with the strength and will to become lions, conservatives are those lambs. Liberals simply don't have the stomach for it.